Thursday, April 5, 2012
Did you ever play roulette? Did you ever play Russian roulette with your bum? That's what it has turned into at our house. Three of the four kitchen chairs are broken. DJ has broken all three. He has also broken a cabinet door. He thinks he is a thug and leans back in the chairs, not the cabinet. I used Frances' suggestion and made him fix a few things that he broke. Welp, we now know he will not be going into the carpentry field when he is older. Demolition-maybe.
I had said to Den that we weren't buying any new furniture until we are done with the children. Den usually doesn't show fear but he looked around at all of the furniture that was ready to break and I saw his fear. We could eat on the floor. Well, DJ could eat on the floor and Den and I could share the one good chair that is left. The one good chair would turn into another broken chair if we both sat in it.
If you feel brave, you are welcome to come over and sit in my chairs and try ass roulette. I will not join in this game because I have played it one too many times. Even when you don't move or breath when you are sitting, you still can't relax because you know it could give at any moment. I lifted my fork and the damn thing broke. The good news is my fat ass is a lot quicker than you think and I threw myself forward. I did not end up on the floor. Dalten did not fair as well as I did. If a chair can't hold a three year old, it's time to go.
I think I will give the table to my family that wants nothing to do with me. I think that it would make a great Christmas present for them and seeing as they all weigh over 300lbs this would be hugely entertaining for me.